Confession of A Broken Heart

It's a belated responce, as always, it's not Lindsay Lohan and it's not about me (hell no).

Quite recently I've read an old post of my fren from her blog. It is a rather annoying post that articulated her aversion towards her mom, in so naming it 'To Not Meet You Again For The Next Life'.

It was pain staking to see a healthy individual to react so aggrasively against a person so close to her. Glancing through the passages I could feel the agony, wrath sipping throughout her writing, in such intensity that it engulfed and eradicated her rationality. She expressed her aggravated emotion, showing us examples after examples on how her mom disdained and contemned her to a worthless base. A sad story.

It thus raises our attention, regarding the factual accuracy and moral stand. But for me, it never was one's fault to command this upheaval. The girl was void of love, but empty or enclosed? Did the mom merely pouring an enclosed tank with love or did she endeavours in unlocking it? Who's the one to break the barrier, to melt the ice and put this misunderstanding to a halt? I just hope that her mom can read what she've writen and do her best to resolve the issue.

Us who gossiped and us who watched should be grateful that this don't happen to us and start embracing our relationship. Stop complaining over stupid and microscopic discontentment in our lives but focus more on the big picture (getting philosophic lol). And to borrow a quote from Elizabeth Gilbert, "there's a crack in everything; that's how the light gets in."

Nontheless, a song dedicated to our family.

Ode to My Family, by The Cranberries

New York

I think she is much under-rated, but this is a really nice song i heard from V Plug.

Perhaps

Perhaps this will be the last, the last time we took up the calculator and tabulate to decimal margin, the last time we ever dress up so tediously (except for the LaLas), the last time we will ever meet again, that is, perhaps.

In years from now, we will be going places. To else where the world we've never explored, befriends with stranger we couldn't have imagine off. It's like when we got into the secondary school, but in broader magnitude, wider horizone.

But I believe I'll still cherish friendship we formed, the bonding magnified by tumbles and rumbles, strenghten by agony and deception (juz kiddin'). Perhaps in later years, I will still be pondering the story we shared, the tale we've crafted or perhaps not at all.

Frankly, I really wish to spend time with my friends and family in the post-SPM holiday. But perhaps to go away is to keep in.

Dear friends, thank you for your tolerance and support. I wish you a really really bright tomorrow.

Dear families, thank you very much too, haha. And please go to Angkor Wat next year!!!

Failed!

I broke myself a record, for making the worst play in add math yet.... I am so angry wif myself!!!! It's the, i would say, redeeming subject for me retrospecting the others..... But i've fail.... Myself and everything.......

A steep plunge of marks is dictated, but for what the gradient? I will not, dare not to further ponder the eradicating truth. For now I'll sleep, and perhaps read, with a sigh of grieve......

Thesis on Segregation : Attention Craver

Very often will men break themselves from reality, playing the internal part of their own to counter act what is happening outside, their external part actually. Plenty of reasons would be included for being the culprit of this mental ailment, one that stirs the manace is attention craving.

A humanoid is not living on a basis of single soul and body alone but differenciate themselves another illustrated self. Being both the illustrater of true and imaginary self, one hold the strength to defy anything one dispise and erase mistaken. For instance, if your true self commit anything out of favor, there's the power to reprimand yourselves by your other identity. In the end, compiling the two parts you played, although you as the one should be admonished, become the one who admonishes. In short, it is knowned as escapism.

Drawing to this particular portion that we are talking of, it is the tale of an attention craver who tend to create certain agenda and draw populous to themselves. Again, in the proses of doing so, they've lost the ability to dileaniates who is the attractor and who is the attracted. To further clarify, this is a never less than classic example: So knowned as the Mouth-Slitted Girl, or one of the devotees of group 'Three Little Piglets', the very owner of 'vampire-4-you' blog was ascertain to converge public attention by posting large amount of subversive or else 'out-of-the-norm' content on her blog. And where others started to make comments (cynical) on the deeds so, she surprises everyone by bombard a message similar of ' What could I have done to suffer from these, it's true that i like XXX but what's wrong with that?'

Coherent with the poetic endeavor by author of TooObscene blog, if you are not ready for all of these, then why write it on your blog with almost every post and a need to highlight and bolden the eerie terms used. If this is not an act of an attention craver, that what could it be? But, the author of Vampire blog consistent stressed in adament that, all but she wanted is peace, of course with delicate additives of the vulgar f-word and on and on and on. How ironic, by doing so, again she creates a commotion which pretty much demands attention again!

Frankly, a scene of such wasn't stranger to me, not anymore. I, too have a friend with suffer from this ailment and being remedized were timely indefinate. This person portrays a very confounding stand in dealing with matters of love and romance. To that draw rumours and gossip, he/she would clarity him/herself adversing these particular person that seems to be a status elevating tool. However, the ramification, degratory. I wouldn't further elucidate as it would hurt the one whom is a friend of mine but pray that one day he/she would have the courage to get out and face it.

Beautifully Imperfect

Some of you might have seen this advertisment but I would really wanna share with those who havent. It tears me. By Yasmin Ahmad, I present beautifully imperfect. Imperfection that perfect perfection.



Enjoy!!(Need tissue?)

Mask Ur Mouth, Not The Truth

It has been quite a while since my last post, courtesy of hectic school life and aching examination around the corner. However, is it books and examination what school is all about? I am utterly dissapointed by the modus operandi the school authority had taken to deal with this H1NI problem. In translation, if curbing the menace was futile, at least alleviate. Unfortunately, they who graced a title of educator, failed, substanstially.

To propagate and advocate students to combat this issue should be the niche of the school for this instance. Not only must a speech on public health need to be held but also with drastic measures on improving hygienic level of school's premise. For example, diluted alcohol and proper cleaning agent should be offered to every students, not for those in chronic condition. Moreover, the use of maskes. Although a modicum of students has been enforcing the trend, large majority were still left out. It's true for those bear high risks of spreading the virus should be wearing maskes, but how about us? WEAR MASKES, COMMUNITY, IT SHOULD BE UBIQUITOUS! And the propagation has to be kick start in the school.

2 unconfirmed cases have emerged in my school, the true figure is yet knowned. This is actually a very annoying fact. As far as we know of virus, it doesn't spread by direct contact but far more dangerous than that. Virus permeates in air and is contagious to anyone around the area. For us who are fortuitious enough to evade this pandemic, congratz! But, for how long? Plus, the enigma of H1N1 is far from knowned.

Every home engulfing inferno ignites from a dim spark, even the fall of fiscal behemoth initiates from a petty fault. For the pandemic will continue to multiplies and eradicates, we are responsible to our own welfare as much as our loves one. Call me gullible for those who remain their incredulity. But if there is one thing history had told me, virus don't shun off. For the ignorance, pride and selfishness of human race had dawned the infamous black plague, SARS and many more, do be aggravated by these attitude and halt them.

P/S: Students, do read beside caring for your own health. Both of them are after all your pivotal.

Another reference that echoed the gruesome fact, http://autumn-ashes-falling.blogspot.com/2009/08/mask-urself-not-truth.html

MACC Downfall Parody

Sometimes, a video says it all. I dun think i need to further elucidate anything. Juz watch the video.

Chinese Version



English Version

Sweet Dream B and Bad One Chris

Had a surf in youtube and discover some vids i would rily like to share.

First of all, Beyonce is back again (although she has never been out) with the single Sweet Dream. I do think this single affirms her place as a hit maker and a bona fide diva. Erm... Weird to say, but part of the song makes me thinks of MJ, especially the low background beat (very billie jean-ish) Anyway here's the video, in low quality and ends with part of backstreet boys song (f*ck), I HATE YOUTUBE.



Love the chereography, very static and rigid. N also that gold metalic cyborg dress (although kinda looks like Gaga's one in paparazzi).

BAD ONE CHRIS, yes, boy, just when i am about to forget what had happen for the previous few month, this guy reinforce my memories again. Still remember the shocking incident where Chris Brown beat Rihanna? This guy has a responce in youtube, what a copy cat (of Edison of cuz). Here's the vid. Enjoy!!

The Bon Festival & Pa's B'day

Last Saturday, me and friends headed to Esplanade in Penang Island to participate in the annual Bon Odori (Bon Festival) which I deem had been held consecutively for 13 years. The following texts and photo will be a short summary of my hectic schedule triumphed with excitment and perhaps some disappointment, lol.

Me and Beng Ghee getting ready to go to jetty (erm... he's not in the photo, i guess he is changing his pants)..... n some hygenic measure..... which prove useless.....

We looked like some freakish tourists stranded on a British Colonial Area, how coo-coo weird is that...

At Esplanade, the only nice photo i had, n even, we are not actually focusing on this camera, i just the lighting

Finished our Bon Festival and had a gastronomical experience in Xuan Xin (Swensen) Restaurant. Here's Then Shen endorsing for the restaurant, voluntarily...

I too had a little advertising endeavor, fail though

Smirk? Akward grin la bro....

At ferry, finally changed into normal presentable garment.... I had to cuz they say you bear risk of being crank up by a bunch of hooligan at night if you dress like a..... freak?

Not to forget it's dad's birthday too! (Secret's Fibrous Carrot Cake, one of the healthy alternative, but still high in calorie)

Dad, make a wish!

Me, mom, eldest sis, dad and elder sis, say cheese!

Role Playing

Communication holds its significance in this society. It connects individuals. But how we manipulate this skill makes it ugly and sad, almost atrocious.

Imagine this scenario - A scene where you mingle with someone admirable
Now imagine this - Speaking to someone you adverse

Note the difference? But why? How we interract should be what we are inside, thus a mirror of your total personality. The funny thing is personality doesn't change but intonation, accentuation toward words varies from persona to persona. Perhaps this is known as putting on a mask, role playing. This is what we have priorly encasted in our mind based on previous encounter with this particular person. Hence, each and everytime where interraction occurs, we cant help but repetitively reenact this role playing over and over again. The still image will then instill into our memories and ultimately become what we are to them and to ourselves. But is that true? It might have just been a little skirmish originated from conflicting notion, but we are too uphold by this thought that we cant help but define it as what we should be. SO WRONG.... Indeed, even for I have now clarify this clutter, the endless routine of role playing continues, still. How sad is that..... How sad is everything....

Time will tell, as if I can really get over this entanglement or else, an extrication from internal predicament. But it is going to be arduous. I'll try. This shift of mind will occurs involuntarily without prior notice where you sub-consciously summoned. And the old egoic you will shed off, the new, good you will proliferate and outgrown the alter ego. FIN.

Zee Avi - Anak Watan M'Sia Boleh!!

Haha, just fallen in love with her seconds ago. I was watching MTV and it pops out a total stranger namely Zee Avi. Much to my surprise, she's a Malaysian!!! (Which i believe the last one is Chanelle)

One word would clearly describe her style, authentic or else, those you have never heard before. Not much of a blabbering, we shall indulge in some never-heard-before-jewel-of-M'sia.

This is my favourite, honey bee, an inner struggle to break free from the norm.



Bitter heart, her first single of which can be bought through iTunes


Kantoi, the famous Malaysian rojak languages, look how she delivers this cocktail.

The Judgement Day

Gone were the day to sow for victory, we have to but reap fruitation (rotten or fresh) now.

I myself have done a small tabulation and analysis of data to clarify where I stand. Sadly, top 10 is out of the question but harnested a hypothetic 12th. Haiz.... But look in the bright side, it is still an petty amelioration (abusing the word again) which I would take it as a consolation, haha.

There is one person I need to point out for good, of that is Miss Goo. My god, she is a genius. Coined by our Chemistry teacher, never in her brief few years of career life as a teacher had she encountered with a girl with such a mastery of science subjects. I mean, not to be a sexist, but in general women are a bit weaker in science and math but rather excel in humanitary subject. This chick nailed both, lolz.... In this term, she manage to score 90 n above in three Sciences, 95 n above in both Maths and 100 in History, twice consecutively.... (Currently holding the title of Best Academic Performance, Best Physics, Best Biology, Best Additional Mathamatic---in rival with Mr. Ong, Best History and Best Chemistry---in rival with Mr. Kok)

Drawing to a much relatable margin, the competition in rank 8 to 11 is tight.

Again, rough calculation in average marks
8th, Miss Jill manage to score 82. 82
9th, Mr. Ong got 82.72
10th, Mr Ang got 82.70
11th, while Mr. Teh achieve 82.67

And fortunately, I have just outdone Mr. Chuah by 0.014 (average)....

P/S: All suggestion remain uncomfirm, any correction will be further adknowledge to the greatest possible accuracy, I am apologetic for any bogus attempt.

ASEAN Test Aftermath

Venue: Sunway Carnival Convention Centre

Date: 6-7 Jun 2009

Aim: To Get That Freaking Scholarship and Swept My A** Off M'sia

Result: Undefine (not looking good)

Moral of The Study:

It a sad tale of a Malaysia desperately wanted to get out of his country.

I've applied for this particular scholarship in April, two months prior. The good luck charm kisses when I received the letter from S'pore Ministry of Education in order to take 3 test to assess my ability. Test involved including Math, English and General Ability.

The math test in general is quite hard. It involves certain question which is out of our syllabus (yet) and of course some are purely head cracking. On the other hand, I found the english test quite mind opening. Its not hard, but education. The context coined depicts authors view on sexual equality which rarely were discuss within our nation. Question asked would challenge student in a very wide range. Should one excel, he or she must have decent vocabulary, textual sensitivity and ability to adhere what the question asked for (again, unlike our country who demands repetitive writing).

One more exciting test would be the general ability paper. For those who are still perplexed by the test, it actually means IQ test. The test is mainly on visual spatial and graphic sequencing which are my favourite and i do think i've done a decent job. However, corresponding to how i did in my math test, the chance of being granted such pretiguous scholarship would be negligible. But if it is so, i will also be delighted. There it goes, shall the better one wins (again and again, unlike our country).

The aforesaid pertain, why would a healthy, normal citizen aspires to get himself out of the country, the so called peaceful and harmonious country. It thus has digged in the functionality of a system. Punctual, prompt we craved for had indeed perfectly executed by the Singapore authority. The way they scrutinize the whole examination is worth praising for. Not only did they be able to achieve their goal with minimal delay, they have also set up a margin of loss to cover up any flawed time management. Which in contrast to our country, it is pure disastrous.

Paparazzi - Lady Gaga

AN Apology for not writing for a long period of time, a valid explaination would be I have to prepare for the ASEAN Scholarship Prelimenary Test. (God damit the math test is hardcore)

I am certainly hooked up by a single lately, Paparazzi from Lady Gaga. The only slow rhythm song i've ever heard from her but with the present of heavy beats. Curtesy to avoid any sort of law infringement (I deem), we are prohibited from viewing her 7 minutes music video (found one, but in crappy quality).

Here is a fan-made video with lyrics

What A Week!

First and foremost, it's about the english essay competition. Glad that I was nominated in the prelimenary round, but wouldn't be so glad when you see the whole list. If not mistaken, there are about eight to ten people from my class who made it, which frankly is a bit outrages regarding the level of language mastery in my class. Yet more, my teacher comment (not in a good way) my essay of overly twist-turning without going straight to the point. It bugs me actually. The title of that essay is 'Relaxation', and it is suppost to be an essay competition. Can't I just deliver something with a twist so that it would be a breath of fresh air rather being tedious? But thank god, even she despise my way of writing, she would like to see how other teachers think of. (Mr. Kong, help me plz....)

Another old rotten issue - examination. Frankly speaking, I am not that ready. Sloth got over me since i am studying in form 5. Last term I slipped to rank no. 16, a weak number that I couldn't help when thinking of it but to bash myself up. Well, top ten just seems a bit far... Maybe I reached there by accident in the past, but may I accidentally did it again, I aspire. However, I deem that study should be fun and enhancing. Looking at my friends burning those midnight oil and look like some undead frankenstein in morning, it really freaks me out! Now and always, guys, I won't be your confidant at dark. What a waste to not be able to dream in your soft crisp blanket in peace....

There has been a lot of hits-to-be lately (Some are hit indeed). First of all, is Miley's The Climb, not a big fan of her but this song is not too shabby either! But I would consider it a great song but not adknowledging her as a great singer. If it were sung by else non amatuer, it will be BIG. Jennifer Hudson's If This Isnt Love is indeed a killer. Blended with R&B and Pop sensation, it's a concoction of Beyonce and Rihanna. Britney's Unusual You is yet released but i really want it to be. It is so nice, finally a song not convincing others as she is a slut, but If You Seek Amy (F-U-C-K Me) is really nice too. Last but not least, it a song I don't quite get but is getting it. Black Eye Pea's Boom Boom Pow, it has been consecutively crowning Billboard Hot 100 for 5 weeks! But it sound weird though... Too electro, not my style. However, i did love how Fergie says 'I am so three thousand and eight, you are so two thousand and late', wow, how cool is that!

What a week, despite all the hussles and bussles, I am having my mid-term exam for the next two weeks. Haiz... Some advice to all friends, this is the tipping period where your bodies do love to go awry. Drink more water, eat more veges and rest more, there is still a cornucopia of studies await.

Bye, Ivon

Band Concert Aftermath

Last Friday has been a blast, it is what i would consider a more peculiar condition that i ran myself into. I am a typical guy armed with no symphonic bases but happen to be wearing a band-tee that day. Having to stun some of the familiar faces, I mostly just shun through with making any logical explanation (they'll find out then, i deem).

I went on a bus bagging tons of musical instrument of which i cant even pronounce, a wind orchestra, I am total stranger. The fact is, I am just there to be the voice of the event to articulate more precisely introduce what should be happening and what will happen, Master of Ceremony la! And I wasnt along, luckily. My partner is a form 3 student named Yen Ling, she was responsible of the Chinese part, while I am of course English one.

The event was supposed to be held at 8 evening, for god sake we went that 9 in the morning. Having to go through the demension of total boredom, I almost fell a sleep. Fortunately, there were some drama presented evoking slightest sense of curiosity. In Dewan Sri Pinang, two caged monkey went carrying the roll precedented by Mother Earth (to keep the breed on) for two freaking hour. It is more like a sodomy though, for I can see the male is a total masochist, the one who enjoy tormenting as a source of delightment.

Well, time passes as demure wind. Slow, steady but without noticing the change. The 'moment' come and I tried my best (hopefully). Though the execution wasnt impeccable, but it is a decent performance, I console myself. Got a little bouquet of sunflower, a perfect touch for this evening.

Later got photo update to you guys....

Exhaustion

Really hectic life I am living through... Endless examination has yet to be conquered with some delicate addition of idiotic co-curricular supplement, i am in a brink of exhaustion now. How nice is it, that human can actually switch to a hibernation mode. But it never will.... For we have survive, we still to fight, struggle through each and every hedious routine, surmount any upcoming challenge, with a fake grin, a fradulent satisfaction, an empty husk, tough but hollow.

I have start to question the reason of life. What are all of these about? But we have no choice, we possess no power to comment the right of life but to follow where to surges lead, like a crooked twig, how small and pathetic. But i am not all fueled by persimism, there is still life in this lifeless life. However, it is hard to dig in and excavate 'life'. 17 years had passed and endless to come, i will not give up on any terms of oppurtunity. To keep on, thrive and thriumph over successes. For any calamity succumb, I will battle like there is no tomorrow. I deem that dawn will finally be broken, shattering the glum by deadly piercing light. It is just a matter of stamina. Still i am falling in exhaustion, i need a deep nap. But we still fight, in dreams.... Endless battle, endless enemy, still, endless aspiration...

Judgement on Judgement

Sorry for my delayed reaction. Well, I have heard the news of the USA Beauty Paegent controversy few days ago but wasn't been able to post a thought on it. Now that I have some spared time, I've decided respond to this unfortunate incident.

For you who still don't know what actually happened, here's a touch of hint. In the previously aired USA Beauty Peagent Contest (few days before), a finalist Carrie Prejean was asked of a question, whether the legitimation of gay marriage should be practised. Rumours has it (solidified by Perez Hilton himself) that because of her disagreement on the issue being, she was panalized and landed as the 1st runner-up of Miss USA by a close margin to the winner.

Byhere I would firstly need to declared my stand as not an anti-gay nor pro-gay, but just a bystander who tries to justify. In my humble opinion, I think people in America should have the freedom to voice out their personal point of view without being utterly offensive, just like them who are free to choose their leaders, their jobs and their sexual orientation, a pro-life community I would say. So and so, it is wrong to panalized someone for being candid and frank on their articulation rather than pick-choosing the so-called 'popular' answer. People can disagree with one another but their judgement would still have to remain just. In similiar assertion, how can you panalized someone when you are the one to coin a question which depict one's political stands? In either way, to agree or to disagree homo-marriage, among people at large there are still who defies her stands. In this cases, I think the judgement should based on how well the answer was voiced evoking minimal disconcentment. Again in the my thought, I think Carrie has voice out her point of view in the most modest and sensible way. However, it was Perez himself who humiliate himself and the judging board by posting such insensible and vulgar statement online. It is but a disgrace to America.

Last but not least, do enjoy the video above. I love how Billy O'Reilly question the biase judgement of that gay activist and justify the whole situation. It was well-rounded but surprising not offensive, deed of a gentlemen.

The Fear

Its a phobic,
Relentlessly dragging our lives,
For a period so long,
Man has forgotten to keep in mind.
It's the fear.

The fear, I propose, is the sensational nature of human being. One which cannot live without, one who thrive would engulf. Pride or prejudice, it's to achieve. The desire, the eagerness to triumph other for their failure, nontheless, to emerge as a bigger person.

The denial of human being to admitted the sinful mind of being pride, prone to failure is yet another similar assertion of noted practise. The way we toss out innocent detail to maneuvre though and mind of other in fooling the case is the daily tedious chore we never fail to repeat. Moreover, envious monster in green relight us to keep on working for the longing success of which might have been more achieveable to others. We fear, fear that the victory would last savoured by foreign hands but not ours. We are afraid, afraid of taking consequences bombarding that forced us to think twice before taking any action.

The fear of human never cease to work as maestro in defying mistake. Perhaps, it is the fear, we have been able to be successful in lives. Numb to dashy rolling environment, we will finally flunk in any execution. Only the fear within to lead us to strategize any fradulent routine.

Candidly,
JJ

How To Full A Stop .

It should be 8 more month before we take the leap to tertiery education. Much to read on, despite burning those oils of the midnight and spending sleepless night for a knowledge savour. Yet, it's the race to final point. No what we are talking about. To full a stop, aimed, is to stamp the end of this journey with movement. One simple modus operandi (no the bad one of course), is to travel.

Since a course of months before, people have been chitter-chattering of wherever and whenever things should but done. Well, to nothing close to pragmatism. Here is a petty list of what i've been hearing from. And of course, there is always room for another set in the menu.

1) Sabah & Sarawak , would have cost anywhere between RM1000-RM1500

A bit expensive regarding the venue frankly, the place is seriously much to my favour. (I mean as a Malaysian, what a shame if I had not ventured my own land of birth.... While picking others as an alternative....)

2) North M'sia + Genting, of course under RM 500

Lame in sense, not a trip to be looked forward. But would have also be enjoyable with right combination of make-fun-around-able friend. Plus, it is budget friendly.

3) S'pore, under RM1000

Erm.... Frankly, I never went to S'pore (Well, I would say once.... TRANSIT AT CHANGI AIRPORT, does it count?). Lovely country with picturisque scene in the season of celebration, plus we speak everything they speaking, lol..

4) Hong Kong + Macau, RM 1500-RM1800

A bargain wouldn't come true without an adventurous spirit to go freely on our own. It is of course a couragous endeavor but also lots of fun in return. However.... Many people which include me, gone there edi.....

Be sure to word out as if any more choice is available to choose from. And plz do not defy logic in decision making.

Ciao, JJ

Daisy

Small and petite, daisy is the one of a kind delicate fragrant little flower. One who uniformed itself into the nature, a blend of harmonious concoction that sooths. It might not be as vibrant as an enormous lotus, not as exotic as a flaming hibiscus. But, what is the world without these little workers that brings out the most an outstanding protagonist. Fear not to be a daisy nor even a refreshing scented shoot of grass.

'Living a simple life is not simple at all'

Chanel Iman

Black is back, or else back to black. Guys, worships this lady of black horse who gust the fashion industry by storm!!!

A Departure

Journey of an aviation,
Congested with flip flops of adventures,
Of charming beam to shine on,
Of crystal tears fell broken,
A journey which couldn't proceed,
For any absentees to be confide.

In brink of instant,
Destination is of stone throw distance,
A reachable venue aspired unreachable,
A flight of flying time passed unaware,
Arrival, will do,
Only reluctancy impede for fraction of seconds.

Farewell to the attendance,
Who participated in this minute event,
Of laughter and smile we been through,
Of glum and gloomy night we slept through,
For memory will always linger,
May been yesteryear, will reminisced like yesterday.

Bring the rivulet of tear to a halt,
Get ready for the upcoming journey,
A future where destiny lead,
An unknown location yet undiscovered,
May the world still spin, walks of life still carry on,
A departure, from the pass.

P/S: For my dearest chinese debaters!!!

3 years of involvement in where we take pride on, I thanks all of you who have cherished my life for even the slightest bit. This is a poem of which I dedicated juz for you. Again, thx for you, for the best three years of my debate life. Haha

Sprint of Intuition

I always view life as the tale of a gambler, the one who bet the right plot is always the one who wins. In real life, things are about the same, but, it's not luck, it's not pure luck i would say. Like a horse race, stakes on blessing and prayers are more of a deed from an amatuer. Hard cold facts, it's a composition of stamina, mood, riders' statistics and even weather (I would consider). In short, rather than of course sprinkles of luck, all of'em are calculation, a science of tabulated risk and rewards.


Last week, one of my friends, Inn Thong to be exact, asked me whether I have joined the trend of blogging, one who struts his very details on the expoxure to the very wide webbed world.
In sprint of intuition i thought, why not? Emo as it says, teenagers nowaday often supress in world of fradulent laughter. A medium is really need, for us to be expressive and creative about thought, all the happenings in lives. So and so, I've join force with the trend, in adament.

Does my sprint of intuition peceives me? A question yet to be answered. Maybe time will tell, of garnered self collection and contribution of fast slipping time. I've did my calculation, have you?

Standardize Please!

Imagine yourselves dashing through pieces of paper, in quest of finishing an impeccable essay, deed of a genius. But we are not, at least most of us aren't. However, the school demands exceptional quality composition to done in such restricted time. 55 minutes it say, was enough to garner a worthy essay, worthy of competing amongst and worthy of gracing the pages of school magazine.

Some call that demanding, I just name it 'pure idiotic', of how the school had successful scratch their 'known' name yet again. Not least, of the issues in a bunch I would like to word out is the stand of being standard.

Chinese essay comp. - 2 hours (more or less by 15 mins)

Malay essay comp. - 2 hours (more or less by 15 mins)

English - 50 percent of them

For those who don't have a thought of what a school CLB be, well, a fairly standardize CHINESE school. (The one which stressed on mother language, national language but oops not INTERNATIONAL language). Call me pissed, but i am rather acting rational now. If there was a chance of me breaking head of those descent english teacher, god bless.

Standardize please, JJ.

Ugly

A post dedicated to people I have a sense of aversion with.
(Sceptics: If you think you are one, YOU ARE)

Ugly, a sense of unpleasing like we always say persist all around. It is subjective. Up to one who defines ugly, in quest of teasing the one who well meet all or portion of the criteria.

Ugly for me is more of an wicked inner protrusion, if not, also a lethal combination of bad look, bad taste and misbehaviour. And by here i mean, one can be loud, spontaneous, defy cohesion, but to a certain extand. For one who crossed over a fine line of being an acquired personality, it provokes discontentment, an unity of discontentment.

Some advice for those I would like to frut beyond hatred.

Mr. 1 :
Not everyone is a born live wire. You tends to draw other attention in a rather more annoying way, congratz for accomplishing what you craved but unfortunately, the wrong kind of it. Well, sometimes doing less is doing more. For looks like yours, I have to pity you. But there is no mercy on such lack of society judgement. And your smile..... Forget it, it's painful.

Mr. 2:
Trust me, you are beyond stingy, you are like an obsessive-compulsive hoarder, hoarder of fortune, hoarder of power even hoarder of knowledge. OK, I know you are rich, but so what, honey, you are so poor insider out. Why be envious of someone else when you can actually cherish, I don't get it.... Not least, if you really beat up your wife and end in bankruptcy, and you have realized the con, we always keep our hands open.

Mr. 3:
Worst of them all, you are the father of all son of bitches and vixens. Being flirtatious is ok, but keep it your own, don't spill your lust and blush publicly because it's just an eye sore. Moreover, try be more secretive when you happen to have a harassment endeavor. More moreover, quite lately, please, when you are wrong, make an apology. Don't be a mad dog who barks the class off and well, much to your favour, draws attention (Of leafy issues, oops). We know you are a jerk, an kind reminder need not be enthrusted.

Mr. Me:
Stop being a critic, do self-judge when you judge. (HARDLY)

Be beautiful, JJ

Gemma Ward

One supermodel with dollish look, a perfect epitome of an angelic face with a demonic body...
Love you, Gemma

Tears of Joy

There is an incident that has shaken my life lately. Last Sunday, as far as it get, still lingers in me, my heart and my soul. An unfortunate lost in the district chinese debate competition left all of my teammates in numb, so numb that withholding the our ciliary mussles is futile indeed. But that strange pungent odour of freshy cut onion is absent, my was managed to keep my eyes dry. I questioned myself, with such melacholy projection on everyone's face, why can I still manage to do this? Is it because I am strong enough to live up to reality or has I become inhumane and disrespectful to the slog I took, I wonder.



Sentence from a known phychologist knocks me up and awaken me. 'Those who cry are those who feel safe', he says, reminds me of voluntary control of emotion. I clog my tears when the news was announced, i clogged my glands up when i was handed over the prize and had to put on a fake grin. I wasn't happy, not at all, but I analogued it. Sense of insecurity told me to withhold the tears to salvage the last dignity of my own, my team. However, when I'm in bus on the way home, golden words from my Ms. Teh lubricated my gland and catalysted my tears to flow. I felt safe, for the moment. Where i was able to let my soon uncontrollable emotion off and cry like a baby. In articulation of her sooths my heart of million question and answered my prayer. (Hail Teh Mei Lee)

True indeed, the world is unfair. A simple statement of one plus one never equal to two perfectly epitomize society we are in. But one only thing you can do is to be generous to yourselves and your friends! What have I done to suffered this deal of pain, crucifixion? No, nothing may I have done so wrong. But, double think again, who plunge us into these pains? Ourselves. But who did the wrong thing? Them who still laugh.

Dear debaters, let the tears flow. Journey of them slipping through our cheeks and dampened our lips shouldn't signify a grief of anger but a celebration of what we have able to achieve, period. For those who cant eye our talents, curse them. But never let the bogus judgement justify who are you and how are you. Because if you think are good, you are. There is needless of concrete proves but a notion in adament.

'The one who laugh the brightest is the one who laugh last', be it an episode of our journeys and shall us lose the skirmish of seventeens but not the battle of our lives.

Love, JJ